(desperation + noise)

Ever since I was young enough to listen to music and actually enjoy it, I’ve had shitty, shitty luck with headphones. During 9th grade, I went through at least three pairs, all of which firmly etched the word “blow-out” in my vocabulary. Other people may be able to hack it, but I just can’t take the bass line of my favorite record sounding like a big wad of abrasive fuzz in my left ear.

One day, while browsing Ultimate Electronics with no apparent purchase in mind (my parents were there for some reason or another, and I tagged along), I found a pair of headphones. These things were fucking amazing. Okay, so they weren’t exactly the sturdiest fuckers in the world, but at Ultimate, they were pumping music through the “try ‘em” copy at full blast, and I couldn’t hear the slightest bit of fuzz. Well, after a few years of those headphones that come with the CD player that break within a month’s time and those little fucking earbuds that not only blow out in less than a week, but simultaneously make you feel like you’re getting an ear infection at all hours of the day, these might as well have been Jesus in headphone form.

These suckers lasted for a year and a half, and that’s a record in my book. And I put them through absolute TORTURE. Assorted journeys in backpacks and suitcases, during which, thanks to my astounding luck, these beauties would receive an occasional direct hit from the pavement, not to mention the several times I’d lend the headphones to my friends only to have them immediately blast the living fuck out of them. “Hey Brad, can I use your headphones?” “Sure!” Cut to the finer points of death metal suddenly becoming audible throughout the entire town.

But for some reason, despite all the abuse, they didn’t break, bend, or (and I say this with a bit of regret) spontaneously combust.

To make an already-long story shorter, Daydream Nation broke my unbreakable headphones.

Continue reading ‘IT’S TOTAL TRASH’